Adamant: Hardest metal

DJs catch 'Castro' in hoax--Who's laughing now? Castro was not amused

BBC News
Last Updated: Wednesday, 18 June, 2003, 03:34 GMT 04:34 UK

Two Miami radio hosts say they have fooled Cuban leader Fidel Castro by pretending to be President Hugo Chavez of Venezuela in a prank call.

The two hosts of the radio programme El Vacilon de la Manana (Morning Joker) spliced together clips from a Chavez speech and played them to trick Mr Castro into thinking he was talking to the Venezuelan leader.

Then they revealed themselves and called Mr Castro a killer, reportedly prompting a tirade of abuse before Mr Castro hung up.

The radio hosts, Enrique Santos and Joe Ferrero, played the same joke on Mr Chavez in January, using a recording of Mr Castro.

The two Latin American leaders are allies.

In the latest prank, the DJs pretended to be an aide phoning Mr Castro to ask about a suitcase Mr Chavez allegedly lost when the two men were both in Argentina.

When they got through to a man who listeners say appeared to be the Cuban president, they had a brief conversation then told him he had fallen for their prank.

It has not been possible to confirm that the victim was Mr Castro himself.

The radio hosts regularly include a slot called "Fidel's on the phone for you" in which they try to fool victims with recordings of the Cuban's voice.

Miami is home to a large Cuban expatriate population, much of it fiercely anti-Castro.

The Cuban Government has not commented on the prank.

AUSTRALIA GETS DRUNK, WAKES UP IN NORTH ATLANTIC

Tired of Being Isolated and Ignored, Continent Isn't Bloody Moving

Sydney, 800 miles S. of Nova Scotia (SatireWire.com) — After what witnesses described as an all night blinder during which it kept droning on about how it was always being bloody ignored by the whole bloody world and would bloody well stand to do something about it, Australia this morning woke up to find itself in the middle of the North Atlantic.

"Good Lord, that was a booze up," said a bleary-eyed Australian Prime Minister, John Howard, speaking from his residence at Kirribilli House, approximately 600 nautical miles east of Cape Hatteras, North Carolina.

According to Australians and residents of several countries destroyed or lewdly insulted during the continent's nearly 7,000-mile saltwater stagger, the binge began just after noon yesterday at a pub in Brisbane, where several patrons were discussing Australia Day and the nation's general lack of respect from abroad.

"It started off same as always; coupla fossils saying how our Banjo Patterson was a better poet than Walt Whitman, how Con the Fruiterer is funnier than Seinfeld, only they're Aussies so no one knows about 'em," recalled witness Kevin Porter. "Then this bloke Martin pipes up and says Australia's main problem is that it's stuck in Australia, and everybody says 'Too right!'"

"Well, it made sense at the time," Porter added.

By 2 a.m., powered by national pride and alcohol, the 3-million-square-mile land mass was barging eastward through the Coral Sea and crossing into the central Pacific, leaving a trail of beer cans and Chinese take-away in its wake.

When dawn broke over the Northern Hemisphere, the continent suddenly found itself, not only upside down, but smack in the middle of the Atlantic, and according to most of its 19 million inhabitants, that's the way it's going to stay.

"We sent troops to Afghanistan. You never hear about it. We have huge government scandals. You never hear about it. It's all 'America did this,' and 'Europe says that,'" exclaimed Perth resident Paul Watson. "Well, we're right in the thick of things now, so let's just see if you can you ignore us."

Officials on both sides of the Atlantic conceded that would be difficult. "They broke Florida," said U.S. State Department spokesman Richard Boucher. "And most of Latin America is missing."

Meanwhile, victims of what's already been dubbed the "Australian Crawl" are still shaking off the event.

"Australia bumped into us at about midnight local time," said Hawaii governor Ben Cayetano. "They were very friendly — they always seem friendly — but they refused to go around unless we answered their questions. But the questions were impossible. 'Who is Ian Thorpe? Do you have any Tim Tams? What day is Australia Day?'"

"Fortunately, somebody here had an Unimportant World Dates calendar and we aced the last one," Cayetano added.

Panama, however, was not so lucky.

"Australia came through here screaming curses at us to let them through," said Ernesto Carnal, who guards the locks at the entrance to the Panama Canal. "We said they would not fit, so they demanded to speak with a manager. When I go to find Mr. Caballos, they sneak the whole continent through."

When Caballos shouted to the fleeing country that it had not paid, Australia "accidentally" backed up and took out every nation in the region, as well as the northern third of Venezuela. They then made up a cheery song about it.

By late morning today, however, not everyone in Australia was quite so blithe. "We've still got part of Jamaica stuck to Queensland," said Australian army commander Lt. Gen. Peter Cosgrove. "I think we might have declared war on it. I don't bloody remember. Maybe it's time to go home."

Cosgrove, however, is not in the majority, and at press time, U.S., African, and European leaders were still desperately trying to negotiate for Australia's withdrawal. But the independent-minded Aussies were not making it easy. In a two-hour meeting at midday, Australian representatives listed their demands: immediate inclusion in the North Atlantic Treaty Organization, a permanent CNN presence in all 6 Australian states, a worldwide ban on hiring Paul Hogan, a primetime U.S. television contract for Australian Rules Football, and a 4,500-mile-long bridge between Sydney and Los Angeles.

U.S. negotiators immediately walked out, calling the Australian Rules Football request "absurd."

Uno de un medico y Venezolano!

En un congreso de médicos, un médico judío comenta:
"La medicina en Israel esta tan avanzada que nosotros le sacamos un riñón a una persona, se lo ponemos a otra y en 6 semanas ya está buscando trabajo."

Un médico alemán comenta:

Eso no es nada, en Alemania le sacamos un pulmón a una persona, se lo ponemos a otra, y en 4 semanas ya está buscando trabajo."

Un doctor ruso comenta:

"Eso tampoco es nada. En Rusia la medicina esta tan avanzada que le sacamos la mitad del corazón a una persona, se la ponemos a otra y en dos semanas ya ambas están buscando trabajo."

A lo que un médico venezolano responde:

"Nada que ver. Todos Uds están muy atrasados. Nosotros aquí en Venezuela cogimos a un hombre sin cerebro, sin corazón y sin bolas, lo pusimos de Presidente, y ahora todo el país esta buscando trabajo.''

Mul-T-Lock to export satellite vehicle location systems to Latin America--Mul-T-Lock plans to expand its international business by 30% to $9 million this year.

globes.co.il/
Hadas Manor 1 May 03 13:05

Mul-T-Lock is about to enter new South American markets, as part of its plan to expand its international business by 30% to $9 million this year.

Mul-T-Lock plans to penetrate the market with its satellite locating system for vehicles using cellular telephones, vehicle protection and sophisticated alarm systems, to be sold to cellular companies; security doors, and monitoring centers for vehicle fleet management services.

Mu-T-Lock chairman and CEO Abraham Bahri told “Globes” on Tuesday that the company’s technology did not require the use of ground antennae, and was in high demand in new markets in Latin America.

Bahri said he had been negotiating deals for the past two years, and had recently concluded agreements with Honduras, Venezuela, Brazil, Mexico, and the Dominican Republic in Latin America; Nigeria and Kenya in Africa; and Poland, the Czech Republic, Romania, Hungary, Russia, and the Ukraine in Eastern Europe.

Mul-T-Lock’s strategic goal is to expand its exports to 50% of its total sales within three years. The company currently exports less than 10% of production. The company expects $9 million in sales in 2003, mostly by marketing its Skylock satellite locating systems.

Published by Globes [online] - www.globes.co.il - on May 1, 2003

Mail this pageHispanics in state 'beginning to be afraid' after killings

By MICHAEL A. LINDENBERGER
mlindenberger@courier-journal.com
The Courier-Journal

There is no apparent connection between a tarp-wrapped body found in rural Madison County earlier this year and three bodies also wrapped in tarps found in the Kentucky River near Winchester on Monday, police said yesterday.

Still, the fact that police have described the four victims as appearing to be of Hispanic origin has left some members of the growing Central Kentucky Hispanic population uneasy.

"They are beginning to be afraid," said Sandra Añez Powell, migrant outreach coordinator for the Kentucky River Foothills Development Council, a local community-action agency.

"This is now four people dying in suspicious circumstances."

The three bodies found this week appeared to be Hispanic, according to Clark County Coroner David Jacobs.

Kentucky State Police Trooper Mike Coyle said yesterday that the two incidents appear unrelated. He said police recently have gathered significant information about the January death, but they are not yet able to release details.

The bodies found Monday had been shot multiple times.

Investigators' first priority will be to identify the victims, though both Jacobs and Coyle said that will not be easy.

"It's so early in the investigation," Coyle said. "It's going to be a long process."

A composite-sketch artist will produce portraits of the three men in the next few days, Jacobs said. Coyle said detectives have begun canvassing nearby neighborhoods.

No evidence suggests that the victims were migrant workers, but Coyle said if they were that could make identifying them difficult because of language barriers.

Powell said one concern among Hispanic migrant workers is that too few of them have U.S. identifications, and that can make them feel more vulnerable to violent crime.

"If you were someone who wanted to do something bad to someone, the fact that they are not documented, or have no ID, makes it easier to get away with," she said.

Powell, a native of Venezuela, said 2000 Census numbers reflecting Hispanic populations in Clark and Madison counties at about 1,100 are well below reality.

Based on her experience, she estimates that Madison County has more than 2,000 Hispanic residents, and the more rural Clark County has about 3,000.

For those without IDs, Powell said, day-to-day concerns about opening bank accounts or establishing utility services give way to more important concerns when they hear of events like Monday's discovery.

"Now everyone is wondering who it could be," she said.

On Tuesday police released pictures of some distinctive embroidering found on two of the men's clothing.

Already, Jacobs and Coyle said, callers have phoned to say they recognize the markings or they saw a car driving near the spot where the bodies were found.

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