Casting out the net

www.examiner.com Publication date: 02/21/2003 BY KEVIN KEATING Special to The Examiner

    Isidro Casanova, a conservationist visiting Venezuela, was floating down the Cuyuni River when he found a tribe poisoning a stream to kill fish.

    He explained to them that they were sinning against nature.

    The natives thought it over and came to the conclusion that the stranger spoke good sense. But that didn't fix their hunger so they decided to eat Casanova, instead.

    He was rescued by some wandering miners who found him tied to a tree, waiting to be popped into the cook pot.

    Their entree gone, the tribe went back to fishing in its traditional way.

    Casanova should write his story for Field & Stream magazine. It's right up their editorial alley.

    In Hawaii, if you see a man walking with a fishing pole over his shoulder, never ask him if he's going fishing. The fish will hear and be warned away.

    British herring fisherman are equally superstitious. Heading for their boats in the early morning, they will turn back if they meet a vicar or a woman on the road.

    Women and parsons shouldn't be up that early, so if they meet either one, it must be unlucky. "Might as well give up fishing today, boys. Let's go see if the pub is open."

    It's also unlucky for a herring fisherman to see or say the word "pig." They refer to the animal as "the article" or "the gadget."

    It seems that one dark morning, a herringman tripped over a "gadget" lying in the road. He and his crew set out to sea and were never seen again.

    A friend just back from Indonesia checked in to say that two lively events are scheduled about once a month at Pasir Putih Beach, Situbondo, East Java.

    Sapp-Sapp is one. It's an airborne chicken race. Men holding chickens wade into the surf. On a command from shore, they release the birds. The chickens fly for the beach and the one that flies farthest wins. "As chickens don't fly very well," my friend said, "there are a lot of wet feathers in East Java."

    On the same beach, they stage another event called Tarik Tambang Perahu. It's a tug-of-war between crews in two boats in the middle of the lagoon.

    I asked my friend how they determined the winner but he didn't know.

    In Central Java, locals will tell you that Sadang Jodo is where the angels bathe. Young people go there to wash their faces and claim it brings them happy marriages.

    Some Japanese honeymooners go to Saipan to start a happy marriage.

    An American living there discovered that young Japanese love pizza and shooting machine guns. He opened a pizza parlor with a firing range in the back. When the newlyweds are finished being romantic, they pop out for a pepperoni pizza. Then they rent an Uzi and shred paper targets. It makes for a lively Saturday night.

    Another love story: a San Francisco journalist wanted to wed the love of his life in Acapulco. The hotel manager said, "You will need photos and blood tests. The photographer is next door and I will send two bellboys to take the blood tests for you."

    Sea stories: It was the good ship Walrus that brought the treasure to Treasure Island. Its list of officers included Capt. Flint, Billy Bones as first mate, and that lovable, old quartermaster, Long John Silver.

    After Flint gave the treasure map to Bones, he issued this cheery command: "Fetch aft the rum, Darby!"

    Now there's a line you can use.

    A persistent tale put forth in the 1920s insisted that the last rivet installed in a cruise ship was always made of gold to celebrate completion of construction.

    Is it true? Let's find out. When you're cruising, ask the captain to show you the gold rivet. If he does, call me right away!