Ken Rodriguez: Freaks are bigger than the fights
news.mysanantonio.com Web Posted : 02/26/2003 12:00 AM Tyson is the freak, Etienne the clown, and the rest of boxing spins with three rings, an elephant and a guy shooting himself out of a cannon.
In one ring of this circus is Don King and his hair. In another is Tyson and his tattoo. In a third is a litany of lawsuits, kidnappings, comebacks, arrests and guys getting shot in the legs while training.
What? You didn't hear?
Last week, super flyweight champion Alexander Munoz took a bullet to the knee while jogging in Caracas, Venezuela. Munoz fought with three assailants, tried to escape and got shot.
"Sadly," he told reporters, "you can't even train in peace anymore."
Fortunately, Munoz is expected to make a full recovery. Unfortunately, the same cannot be said about his sport.
Boxing is on the ropes. It is bruised, it is battered, it is bleeding. But it isn't going away. Boxing might be hooked to a respirator — its every breath as artificial as Tyson's last KO — but no one will pull the plug because the dead can make the living a lot of money.
Clifford "The Corpse" Etienne made $1 million for hitting the canvas in 49 seconds. Tyson made $5 million for putting him there. Promoters and handlers left with large cuts from those purses before going to work on the next sham.
If there was any doubt about the truth of Tyson-Etienne, Tyson trainer Freddie Roach eliminated it with this post-fight comment: "Etienne had been knocked down nine times by guys who couldn't punch. I knew if Mike hit him he wouldn't get up."
I'm not sure when boxing crossed from savage to stupid, but Tyson-Etienne underscored the change. Quick, when was the last boxing show to feature a disgraced former ice skater on the undercard?
Tonya Harding, welcome to the sport of drunks, addicts and felons.
Tonya, you'll find an occasional good guy in boxing (sorry, but "Jesse" James Leija is married), you'll even find an occasional great match, but mostly you'll find lunacy and lies.
Take promoter Bob Arum. Arum is known for a lot of things, but in media circles he's best known for a career-defining admission: "OK, yesterday I was lying, but today I'm telling the truth."
Lunacy?
Where shall we begin?
Check the courthouse and you'll find more than 100 lawsuits filed against Don King. Check with police and you'll find reports numbering more than 100 pages about Johnny Tapia.
Check the sports pages, and on any given day you'll find a fighter going to court (Vitali Klitschko suing the WBC on Feb. 20 to force a match with Lennox Lewis), a fighter going to jail (Pernell Whitaker getting stopped for DUI on Valentine's Day) or a fighter getting busted at a gambling house (authorities apprehending Vinnie Paz on Feb. 20 at the Foxwoods Resort Casino and charging him with passing bad checks).
Then there's my personal favorite — a fighter who kidnaps his family, claims brain damage, then threatens to make a comeback when he gets out of prison.
You think I'm making this up?
Two weeks ago, Riddick Bowe, the former heavyweight champion, told a Nevada reporter, "I'm going to shock the world again," and you could take that a lot of different ways.
Bowe shocked the world when he abducted his wife and children in 1998. His attorneys shocked the world when they argued that Bowe couldn't help himself because he was brain damaged from 41 fights. Then Bowe shocked the world when he told a Nevada reporter that his attorneys made up the brain damage defense to keep him out of prison.
The brain damage defense was curious because, well, Bowe retired after taking blows to the, um, groin from Andrew Golota in 1996.
Groin damage. Brain damage. Whatever. Bowe wants to fight again after his release from prison, and you know who would be the perfect opponent?
The guy whom many insist is weirder than Wacko Jacko. Mike Tyson likes to eat children. Michael Jackson only likes to sleep with them.
Somewhere out there a promoter is smiling. Let the next freak show begin.